About five centuries after Charles V of Spain claimed that he spoke ‘Spanish to God, Italian to women, French to men, and German to my horse,’ us poor Brits seem to still be struggling with grasping the  basics of continental languages. Here John Hillman suggests that we should use the great swashbuckling Victorian hero Sir Richard Francis Burton as inspiration for a spot of linguistic exercise.

Britain’s isolation from the rest of Europe has had a funny impact on the people that live here. We drive on the opposite side of the road, stick jealously to our own currency, weights and measures, and above all we simply refuse to learn other people’s languages.

But with two centuries of global dominance by English speaking nations looking like they’re coming to an end, surely it’s about time we pulled our socks up, swallowed our pride and started reaching out to our cross-channel relatives. This is the age of communication after all.

Whenever travelling with P&O Ferries there always seems to be countless continental families who can speak English, and often another one or two other major European languages as well. But in England you are lucky to find a family capable of ordering breakfast in Boulogne, let alone Barcelona and Berlin.

This has to change. Despite this country’s best efforts to pretend otherwise, we are European, and as energy and food resources become more expensive, we are going to find ourselves being drawn closer and closer into the European fold.

This is unless of course we work out some way for P&O to tug our Island over to the east coast of the US, which I’m sure that some Brits would prefer.

However despite P&O’s many talents they have yet to engineer the art of intercontinental nation tugging, so it looks like learning a second language is going to be the easiest option after all.

If we are to take up this challenge then what better time than now, giving us four years to brush up on our French and German before the 2012 Olympics arrive and we are suddenly visited by millions of our near neighbours.

Like in most situations, we can all gain inspiration for this challenge by looking back at historical figures from our past.

One of Britain’s best ever linguists was the great Victorian swordsman, explorer and raconteur Sir Richard Francis Burton. Not only did he manage to learn 29 European, Asian and African languages but he also commanded around 200 other dialects.

His advice to a colleague on setting to work on a new language was simple: “Begin with the swear words; after that everything is easy.”

Not only did his affinity for languages lead him into some of the most celebrated adventures of the age, such as discovering the source of the Nile and becoming the first non-Muslim to make the pilgrimage to Mecca, it also opened his eyes to the eroticism of the east and lead him into numerous romantic liaisons with beautiful women from around the globe.

Why this man’s exploits aren’t taught to every young school boy in England to help them appreciate the value of their French lessons is completely beyond me.

But Britain’s cultural and commercial success has been its linguistic downfall. We can’t be bothered to learn another language simply because, as Jeremy Paxman says: “When an Icelander meets a Peruvian, each reaches for his English.”

But in this modern day and age we should be heeding the words of another great British figure, the poet Sir John Donne, who once said: “No man is an island, entire of itself; everyman is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.” Let’s not forget that. Now go and book some French lessons.

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