Tomas Mowlam struggles with his antipathy towards the French football team and tries to tell you when the matches are, French chances of success and what to do in Paris should you feel like watching a game.

Fifa calls France’s qualifying “up-and down”. I call it cheating, but after devastating the hopes of Ireland with Gallas’ last-minute goal, despite a clear handball from Thierry Henry, Les Bleus are through. I’m just going to have to live with it.

France plays Uruguay in Cape Town’s Green Point stadium on 11 June, before taking on Mexico at the Peter Mokaba stadium in Polokwane on 17 June. Les Bleus final match is at the Free State Stadium in Bloemfontein on 22 June.

Mexico will be the main threat and while I’m going to be praying for a victory against the Gauls, chances are good that France will end up top of their group.

France has got an interesting group with hosts South Africa and Mexico and Uruguay. Despite their shameful, sorry, close qualifying the French team are experienced with players like Thierry Henry, Nicolas Anelka and William Gallas they’re still group favourites. (Here’s hoping none of them repeat Zidane’s World Cup greeting – above).

Check out the Havana Café – sure it’s pretty commercial and not the cheapest, but it does have three massive screens. Find it on 70, boulevard auguste blanqui in the District 13ème – Austerlitz – Place d’Italie. Nearest Métro is Corvisart.

Let P&O get you there; a crossing from Dover to Calais in a car with up to nine people starts from just £30.

Image Credit: Sam sha-put-ski

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