Are you willing to expose yourself to strangers just to leave the country for a week or two? No, neither is John Hillman

It seems that with each passing year there are few and fewer reasons to fly. We all know about the endless hidden charges and restrictions placed on us by the airlines, paying almost £5 for a cup of instant coffee and £20 just to check in with hand luggage are two of my personal favourites; but the never ending security queues aren’t much fun either.

So to reduce the hour long queues we now hear that the authorities are introducing “naked” scanners at airports. Yes you heard me correctly, from now on in order to earn your two weeks in the sun you will be required to submit to the humiliation of having a clear black and white outline of all your wobbly bits displayed on screen for the benefit of airport security.

Having met one or two airport security officers in my life I’m not so sure that they are the kind of people you want to have staring at you and your partner in the buff, as you struggle towards the Duty Free section. I’m sure that they’re all very nice people but let’s face it hardly doctor material.

Speaking to the BBC, Sarah Barrett, head of customer experience at Manchester Airport, where the trial is taking place, says:

“This scanner completely takes away the hassle of needing to undress. The images are not erotic or pornographic and they cannot be stored or captured in any way.”

Images can actually be stored by any random person using a mobile phone camera. I know it would be a sack-able offence and all that but it’s still possible.

She also says that “the Images are not erotic or pornographic” – isn’t this beside the point? And anyway, Ms Barrett is being slightly naive about the complexities of the human mind if she thinks that there isn’t a sizeable group of people out in cyberspace who won’t find this kind of thing entertaining to say the least.

It looks like flying really has gone pretty much as low as it can now. As a confirmed fan of the driving holiday anyway I think it’s time the rest of you joined me on deck next holiday season for a cold beer, a spot of lunch and a gaze across the English Channel – holidays aren’t supposed to begin with discomfort and embarrassment; the getting there is supposed to be one of the best bits.

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Image Credit: Ivan M

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